What is actually a crime, what happens if you call the police, the orders a court can make, and how to find out whether someone has a history. Knowing this does not commit you to using any of it.
General information about the law in England and Wales, correct as far as we can make it, and not legal advice. Scotland and Northern Ireland differ. Always check your own situation with a solicitor or adviser.
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The legal definition, in plain words
The Domestic Abuse Act 2021 gave domestic abuse a statutory definition for the first time. Behaviour is domestic abuse where both people are aged 16 or over, are “personally connected” — partners, ex-partners, or family — and the behaviour is abusive. Abusive means any of:
physical or sexual abuse
violent or threatening behaviour
controlling or coercive behaviour
economic abuse
psychological, emotional or other abuse
It can be a single incident or a course of conduct. Notice what is not in that list: any requirement that you were injured, or that you can prove it, or that it was bad enough.
Video 1
What Happens If You Call the PoliceVideo coming soon. The full transcript is below — press “Read instead”.
What Happens If You Call the Police
Starts muted · has sound
Narrator
The fear of calling the police is usually not about the police. It is about what happens next, and about losing control of a situation you have spent years carefully managing.
So here is roughly how it goes, so it is less of an unknown.
Officers come. They will usually separate you, and speak to you away from the other person. They will ask questions from a risk checklist — it can feel impersonal, and it is how they work out how much danger you are in.
They may arrest. That decision is theirs, not yours, and whether anything is charged is decided by prosecutors afterwards. You are not the one bringing the case, and you are not the one who has to hold it together.
They should offer to refer you to an independent domestic violence adviser. Say yes if you can. That person works for you, not for the police, and they are free.
And if you cannot speak safely on the phone — dial 999, stay on the line, listen for the operator’s questions, and press 55.
Offences
Things that are crimes in their own right
1
Controlling or coercive behaviour
A criminal offence since 2015, carrying up to five years' imprisonment. It covers a pattern of behaviour — monitoring, isolating, controlling money, rules, threats — rather than a single incident. Since the 2021 Act it also applies to ex-partners and family members who no longer live with you.
2
Non-fatal strangulation
Its own offence since 2022, under section 70 of the Domestic Abuse Act 2021, with a maximum of five years. Prosecutors no longer have to show any injury. Sentencing guidance treats intentional strangulation as ordinarily meriting immediate custody, with a starting point of 18 months.
This one matters beyond the courtroom. Strangulation — being choked, having your mouth or nose covered, pressure on your neck — is one of the strongest known warning signs of future serious harm. If it has happened to you even once, please tell someone. Say the word “strangled”, not “grabbed my neck”, because services respond to it differently.
3
Stalking and harassment
Repeated unwanted contact, following, watching or monitoring, including by an ex-partner and including online. Courts can impose a Stalking Protection Order, which can prohibit contact and specific behaviours.
4
Intimate image abuse
Sharing intimate images without consent is an offence, and so is threatening to share them. This includes fake and deepfake images. Since February 2026 it is also an offence to create a sexual image of someone without their consent, or to ask someone else to create one.
5
The rest
Assault, threats to kill, criminal damage, rape and sexual assault including within marriage, forced marriage, and revenge for reporting. Abuse rarely arrives as one tidy offence — that is normal, and it is not a problem for you to solve.
If you call
What actually happens, step by step
You call 999, or 101 if it is not an emergency. If you cannot speak, dial 999, listen to the operator's questions, and press 55 when prompted. That tells them you need help but cannot talk.
Officers attend and separate you. They should speak to you out of earshot of the other person. Ask if you would rather speak to a woman, or in another language — interpreters can be arranged.
They complete a risk assessment. A standard set of questions, some of them blunt. It feels like a form because it is one, and it decides what support you are offered.
They may arrest. That is a police decision. Whether a charge follows is decided by the Crown Prosecution Service afterwards, on the evidence — not by you, and not by whether you want to press charges.
You should be offered a referral to an IDVA. An independent domestic violence adviser is free, works for you rather than the police, and will help with safety, housing, court and benefits.
High-risk cases go to MARAC. A multi-agency meeting — police, health, housing, refuge — that builds one plan rather than six. You do not attend; your IDVA speaks for you.
You can also withdraw, change your mind, or say you do not want to support a prosecution. It happens constantly, professionals expect it, and it does not make you a time-waster.
Protection
Orders a court can make
Non-molestation order
A family court order that prohibits someone from threatening, harassing or contacting you. You apply for it yourself, usually with a solicitor, and it can be made urgently and without the other person being told first. Breaking it is a criminal offence.
Occupation order
Decides who can live in the family home, and can require someone to leave or stay away from it — regardless of whose name is on the tenancy or mortgage.
Police-issued protection
Police can issue a notice giving immediate short-term protection, usually requiring the person to leave the home, with a court order following within days. You do not apply for these; the police do, and they can be used even if you do not want to make a statement.
Domestic Abuse Protection Orders
A newer, more flexible order that can impose requirements as well as prohibitions — for example attending a behaviour change programme or wearing an electronic tag — with no time limit. These are currently being piloted in selected areas including Greater Manchester, parts of London, Cleveland and North Wales, and are intended to replace the existing police orders when rolled out nationally. Ask locally whether they are available in your area.
Stalking Protection Order
Applied for by police, and can prohibit specific behaviours including online monitoring and contact through third parties.
Knowledge check
The things people most often have wrong
These three misunderstandings stop people getting protection they are entitled to.
Nothing here is scored, and no answer is recorded. If a wrong answer felt right, that is worth noticing — it is usually the belief doing the most damage.
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You've reached the end of Chapter 7. Knowing what protection exists is not the same as having to use it, and nothing here obliges you to do anything. The last chapter is the practical one — what a safe next step actually looks like.
This chapter is general information about the law in England and Wales and is not legal advice. The law changes, and Scotland and Northern Ireland differ. Always check your own situation with a solicitor, a regulated adviser or a specialist service. If you or someone else is in immediate danger, call 999. For 24-hour confidential support, call the National Domestic Abuse Helpline on 0808 2000 247. Nothing on this page is stored or sent anywhere.